Look what I did! (You should too): A story about social media, peer pressure, and approval.

Are you unconsciously influenced by what
you see on social media?

Recent national events have created a flurry of social media activity. From the election and the associated fervor on both sides to Superstorm Sandy; millions of pictures have been sent, tweets were flying a mile a minute and who was behind them? Survey says: Us.

The need to be first or to fulfill our own need for approval from others is explored a bit further in a recent article from Forbes' Jeff Bercovci. In a witty read, he discusses the various stages of approval seeking and how by the nature of the media itself, it is impossible to have someone notice something you're proud of unless you put it out there. He also discusses the type of peer pressure created by the good deeds of others as well as, pressure created to tell people you did something good.

  

I want to take this idea a step further this week. We've all heard the echoes of our parents voices when we read, 'If your friend jumps off a bridge, should you?' It's a universally used example to deter kids from buckling to peer pressure.

On social media, when you see that your friend likes something, or in Bercovici's example; voted, or has an opinion on a current event, or is ranting about the blown call in the closing moments of the game; does it make you feel like you should do the same?

Does it motivate you to speak out on topics you normally would generally have no business giving your opinion on?

My first instinct is to say, 'No. I don’t.'  But, maybe I do and I just don’t notice?

When I see people post a picture of their kids, do I subconsciously follow?  When someone posts a poignant news story, I re-post it sometimes, and yes, if someone posts that they donated to a charity, or helped someone less fortunate, I have looked into that charity or researched a situation.

Let's take it a step further.  Should companies use social media to promote their own philanthropy or practice philanthropy for the sake of doing good in the community and egging others on to do the same? Is their cyber-bragging wrong because they are a company? Should they wait for someone else to recognize their efforts or, should they tell the world to promote a positive message and goodwill outside their main line of business?

Should we wait for someone else to promote positive messages about us or what we've done, or, should we bask in an introspective satisfaction that we've done something positive in the world?

Social media causes us to seek responses.  By nature we as humans generally want approval, confirmation that we are good people with a purpose, so it seems natural that we would post about positive things we think and do. The confirmation from our friends further fuels the desire for more positive attention. It’s a never-ending cycle, but not necessarily a bad one.

What do you think? (You can let me know here, on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Google+, etc.)

Josh Kaplan writes on various subjects including management, information technology breakthroughs, healthcare IT recruitment and innovations, big data, IT staffing and recruitment, and technical news and trends.

Words Matter: The importance of semantics in business.

Choosing the right words make or break a conversation.

There’s a distinct difference between wording something poorly mid-speech or mid-conversation and choosing the wrong words to manage and motivate.

Making a gaffe during a speech will happen to you (if you indeed do find yourself giving speeches).  It might even become a memorable part of the speech or conversation despite your protests and embarrassment.  Just chalk it up to your growing 'binder full of gaffes.'

Carefully chosen wording used to manage and motivate, however, can be instrumental in getting the best results from others. The right word choices can make all the difference when trying to elicit positive outcomes and feelings from an employee, in a meeting, during a review, or any other interaction; be it in a business or a personal setting.

Saying, 'How might we…?'; as in this LinkedIn posting from IDEO's CEO Tim Brown; is a perfect example of combining three important words into a synergistic powerhouse of verbiage can generate positive and creative results.

In IT staffing, words are an integral part of how we match candidates and clients. We ask clients what they truly want in a candidate beyond the job description. In addition to covering the skills, projects and jobs listed on their resume/CV, we ask candidates more about what they want from their career; we ask what they would like to take away from this project or how they would handle a situation that the client has told us might come up. Comparing and contrasting the client and candidate responses to these carefully selected 'word strings' can be the key to mutually positive outcome for all of us involved in the process.

Some other positive outcome provoking strings include:

• 'I really appreciate…'
• 'Tell me more…'
• 'Yes we / you can…'
• 'What do you think?'
• 'How would you handle…?'
• 'Please elaborate on …'
• 'How do you feel about…?'
• 'What's your take on…?'
• 'What can we do about…?'

I am sure there are thousands of other powerful and efficient phrases out there that can be the catalyst for a positive conversation or outcome when interacting with others. If you have some gems you use to inspire, spur collaboration, praise, or motivate, I'd certainly like to hear them. Feel free to comment or drop me a line.

Josh Kaplan writes on various subjects including management, information technology breakthroughs, healthcare IT recruitment and innovations, big data, IT staffing and recruitment, and technical industry news and trends.

I'm sorry I missed that: Is technology affecting the way we communicate?

 Can technological distractions ruin an event or conversation?
Photo by Moses - (The Crowd For DMB 2)

So there I am perusing through LinkedIn, not only looking for the next best candidate but also looking for topics to discuss and relevant industry news. Then I happen upon not a blog, but a very humbling post on my feed.

What's the all encompassing message of the feed? Bluntly stated, 'You are not paying attention! Turn off your phone or Skype and pay attention to me!' This LinkedIn post about distractions technology creates really hit home, at least on a professional basis. I try to separate my personal time from my private, family time at present. 

However, I may find myself in a meeting and, for 90% of the discussion, I am intently listening to the speakers. Then, in comes the important message I have been waiting on. I go on to miss 10% of what's being said while responding. Could I have missed something important? What if I completely missed an important question or a call for advice from one of my IT staffing team members or a fellow executive? I am certain it has happened.

  

The days of a working 9-5 in front of a desk, divided by non-work time where you are uninterrupted, are no longer.  A colleague recently posted a blog on this very subject of this 'very tough question for the future of work' where he delves into fragmented work days and what actually constitutes work.

Both articles offer such great insight into how technology is affecting the way we live.

Maybe instead of my smart phone saying slide to 'unlock,' it should say, 'slide to confirm you are not showing someone they aren’t important enough for your full attention.'

I’m an offender of this, and I’ve justified it because I see others doing it.  And 'no,' I wouldn’t jump off a bridge if my friends were (unless it was a small bridge, over a deep body of water).

In this case, if you need to glance at your phone, tablet, or laptop, to see if the one important thing you are waiting for has arrived; the action item that will require an immediate response; then I understand. However, my 'Pavlovian' response to the slightest perception of a vibration should not be an excuse for me to check all my e-mail, Facebook, texts, Twitter, and LinkedIn notifications in the middle of talking to anyone (other than telemarketers).

Perhaps my mom, who I often poke fun at for being a Luddite, knows something it’s taken me a very long time to realize. Having instant access to everything and everyone, doesn’t mean you should use it all the time.  Those old flip phones are good for something. They help ensure you aren’t watching life and relationships and success pass you by while you look at life through your phone’s camera.

How many times have you been to a concert or game where people hold their camera up the majority of the time and record the show? 

While I haven’t progressed to this level of obliviousness and the performers most likely don’t get offended (but maybe they do…Black Crowes, would you care to chime in?); what happened to experiencing the concert and losing yourself in the feeling rather than worrying about the person who keeps waving their hands in the air getting in the way of your recording?

My point really is that; although technology is advancing our ability to do more in less time, is doing more in less time really a good thing?

In one sense, we are on top of the world and markets as news happens; on the other, we find it difficult to focus or dignify the fact that we have another human in front of us saying something that may or may not be truly urgent to the business at hand.

I say let's turn off the Skype, turn off the social media, news feeds, and, yes,  email (again, unless absolutely necessary and preceded with an explanation), and really pay attention to the person in front of us no matter how important we perceived the incoming message to be. I also say, I need to practice what I recommend since I’m a horrible offender of this. Take some time to interact and really engage. A valuable lesson or business critical action you might not have thought of may have just been discovered by the person to whom you have entrusted the 'everyday' work.

Let's face it; we're all under the gun. Doesn't it make sense then when someone has garnered your time (or you, their time for that matter) that we focus on what is being presented?

I say 'Yes!' It could actually save you time in the future.

I am learning (slowly) to unlearn instant gratification. I suggest other 'offenders' might be wise to do the same. (And if you can't take that call, or message, or Skype, right then and there; simply tell the person calling: 'Hey, can I call you back at say 2 p.m.? I am in the middle of something and I really want to give this and you my full attention.' 

I welcome and truly look forward to your comments on the subject.

Josh Kaplan writes on various subjects including information technology breakthroughs, healthcare IT recruitment and innovations, big data, IT staffing and recruitment, and technical industry news and trends.